School Disclosures and other buracratic Nonsense

So the kids started school last month. With a new school year the mounds of stupid paper work for the parents to fill out comes. (I really hate it when a school teacher give me homework) The problem is that with every year my children advance in school the mound of paperwork increases exponentially. (there is probably some postulate, theorem or scientific theory to explain this but they did not teach it to me in school) These disclosures are becoming more condescending each year to the point that they are now insulting. This year I struck back.

Case 1. My child's high school has created a new Draconian attendance policy. The largest issue I have with the policy is that way it is written. If my child misses school, I have to provide and excuse notice and a justification for that excuse. My fundamental problem with this is that I am the father if I say my child is excused no further justification for the absence is required. My law with my children supersede any policy, law that exist within the school. I crossed out the attendance policy provision on every disclosure with a little note that we would not comply and sent it back. My son said he got some interesting looks and comments from the teachers.

Case 2. The schools have been providing a "Bus Disclosure" that needed to be signed prior to my children riding the bus to school. This is by far one of the most insulting documents I have ever been given by a school. It is written in such a condescending tone and states things that should be common sense as if it is some great revelation. I have been able to ignore this document for 3 years now with no consequences this year my daughter went to get on the bus to come home and they would not let her on because I had not signed the document. I still would not sign their document so I made my own. It went like this

"I give permission for my daughter to ride the bus. I promise that she will be a good little girl. I understand that if she is not she may not be able to ride the bus any more"

My wife said my note sounded sarcastic.... I was a bit disappointed I was going for condescending. They let her ride the bus after receiving my note

I know they are small and petty things but I am getting tired of government agencies creating a form for every problem and acting like we are 5 years old. Next year I am going to write my own disclosures for the teachers to sign. Feel free to give any suggestions for my document.